So, recently I've been feeling a little silly.
I've been not wanting to be in college. I love learning don't get me wrong, but I've always been a believer of the statement
"Don’t let schooling stand in the way of your education," and I've really been feeling that recently.
I'm at a crossroads. I've spent 13 years of my life in schooling, waiting for life to start
Well, I'm 18 years old, it's started, and I don't know what to do next.
I've told myself my whole life that I'm going to go to college, get a degree, whatever.
And that's all fine and dandy, but just, I don't know man, I don't know if I want the degree.
I don't know if I want to go to school anymore. I think I'm just, I don't know.
I've thought about it, and I'm not sure if the problem is capitalism, or if it's me.
I don't know if the issue is the system, or if I'm not working hard enough or some bs.
On one hand, I shouldn't have to go and do all this bullshit to get a decent paying job,
to live a life that isn't absolute shite, and even then you still have to lick the boot of
some fucking capitalist pig. On the other hand, if things stay this way, how am I going to survive,
and seperate of all this, I'm actually quite interested in my degree, but I just don't really know any more.
I think the crossroads that I'm at can be helped by defining the "content of my character."
I believe in art, I believe in science, in helping people, building a better world, working with nature, etc.
For myself, I don't know, I think that I want to pursue music, art, solving of actual problems.
I think that I do actually want to study things, and pursue engineering and science and such,
BUT, I think that if I pursued college for the reasons I want to, rather than going after it in
order to just feed myself. I have realized that I do want to become an engineer.
But not for the money, but for the tech and to help people. Damn, that's unfortunate.
After a bit of writing, I think I've got an alternate theory. So, if you look at it, I want to help people. I want to make stuff in my free time. I want to